In a world where certainties are few…Ativan

Lorazepam is the strongest benzodiazepine on the market.  It is used for short term anxiety and short term insomnia.  It is also used intravenously in hospitals in patients before surgery.

I was admitted to the hospital for a kidney infection and the doctor asked me why my heart rate was so fast and I told her I had OCD. She gave me a prescription for 15 ativan and they worked. I did not feel high or doped, I felt normal, just calm, but not zombie like. I lived near the border and got enough ativan for a year, even though it is not recommended to take them for more than two months.

It has a fairly short half life and kicks in really quickly.  The side effects are a bit nasty and may include:

  • confusion
  • hyperactivity, agitation, hostility
  • hallucinations
  • feeling light-headed, fainting
  • drowsiness, dizziness, tiredness
  • sleep problems (insomnia)
  • muscle weakness, lack of balance or coordination
  • amnesia or forgetfulness, trouble concentrating
  • nausea, vomiting, constipation
  • appetite changes
  • skin rash
  • sexual disfunction

I began taking ativan nightly.  A small dose, but it’s strong.  It helped alleviate my anxiety and helped me sleep.  I took it regularly for seven months, and got addicted.

I started to think about getting off of it after a few months because of the side effects I had developed, the worst ones being sexual disfunction, gloomy mood, and hallucinations.

I had forgotten to take ativan one night and then following morning I woke up with shaking, sweats, confusion, anxiety, stress, crying…  I didn’t know what was going on until I realized I missed my self prescribed dose.

I weaned myself off of ativan over a month.  Like I mentioned, I was taking a very small dose, so getting off of it did not take too long, but if you find yourself needing to get off of ativan, please use caution and do your research to do it safely, and seek help if you need it.

My side effects faded away, all but the hallucinations.  At my eye exam, I asked my optometrist about the hallucinations, and he said that if too high a dose of certain drugs are taken, the brain can respond with hallucinations. My hallucinations ceased after I took psilocybin mushrooms.

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5 thoughts on “In a world where certainties are few…Ativan

  1. lorazepam is one of the weakers bzd on the market along with bromazepam,second only to diazepam that is the weakest(activity rapport)

  2. lorazepam is surely powerful but not the strongest benzo on the market. alprozolam is even twice as strong. also i would not recommend lorazepam as a first line treatment for ocd. find an ssri or snri that you can take safely everyday. the media is very inaccurate about these drugs. their side effects also greatly lessen on even go away after you adjust to the medicine. they should not make you a zombie and in fact help many people function better than without. with benzos you get too much of a tolerance build up to take everyday. i’ve taken them everyday and it did help with sleep and anxiety but it’s a nightmare if you dont go off slow. what they really work good for is anxiety and panic attacks as needed. sleep too but the withdrawal causes major insomnia. there is nothing wrong if you get dependent on them, going off is easy for people that don’t abuse them. it’s not the same as a drug addict. they are also quite safe as long as you do not consume alcohol with them or use certain other drugs like narcotics. some doctors try to say they are for short term use only but that is a lie. you can take them for many years for the rest of your life as long as you have good communication with your doctor. only take them if they make you more functional. some people use these meds to run away from problems and sleep all day. also i dont recommend them if you are in the process of learning. they can really impair your memory while you’re on it. be careful with dosing too. tolerance builds up fast but when you need to take more be careful doing things like driving. this is also impaired driving and peoples lives are put at risk. always check with a doctor over what is read on the net. i’ve been diagnosed with ocd since i was a little kid. i grew out of most of my symptoms. i find having ocd at a manageable level can even have advantages. more clean and organized but not to the point of cleaning things already clean or hoarding garbage. a lot more worry than other people so not as many unsafe risks are taken such as money can be managed wiser. certain skills or hobbies are done more meticulous. people tell me im more of a perfectionist. thanks to modern medicine and education, we can all better balance ourselves out with the right combination of meds. i don’t see why not!

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