We have all heard this warning before from people who love us. I don’t think they mean to do anything other than try to empower those they say it too, but dang it bothers me.
The stigma around “being a victim” comes down to that despite what happened, a victim is definitely something you never want to be. At it’s best, it’s about motivating someone to rise above the trauma, and take responsibility. But, there’s a fine line between responsibility and blame. Victim is a dirty word…”get your act together and don’t be a victim”. Or, one of my personal favs, “she has victim mentality”.
Sometimes in discussing how difficult OCD is, I have been told these phrases. Does that mean don’t complain? Or maybe I need to try harder to figure out what part of having OCD is my fault?
Being accused of victim mentality can discourage people for telling their story, for fear of being considered a weak whiner. And you all know how healing I believe sharing your story is. It’s so important we feel safe enough to share our story with someone.
I guess what I’m trying to say is sometimes we are victims and that’s ok. And of course there are times when the trauma leaves scars and life gets too hard and we need to get some extra help. And that’s ok too.
Compassion always ❤
I too have heard these words, don’t try to play victim. Don’t try to get sympathy.