I used to be good at distracting people from my embarrassing compulsions and nervousness. I hated people asking me if I was nervous; I did not want to draw attention to my crazy brain. I guess I also did not want my mood to inconvenience anyone. I would talk really fast in hopes people would focus on what I said and not what my fidgetty hands were doing. I smiled all the time, even when sad, to throw people off. I smiled so much, it’s habit to do it at the “wrong” times even if it’s stupid like when a security guard tells me to move. I don’t talk as much and I think it’s because much of my anxiety is gone and my brain isn’t moving a mile a minute. The problem is, I still smile.