HOCD (video)

I made a video for my vlog about HOCD.  The couple blog posts I wrote on the subject can be found below.

Am I gay or is it my OCD?

HOCD. Horrified to be gay or (straight).

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4 thoughts on “HOCD (video)

  1. I’ve always had OCD. Over the years, I have been affected by different forms with different obsessions (so many of your posts and videos hit me so close to home it’s ridiculous). But this one (HOCD) is by far the absolute worst. It started around July of 2009 and has stuck around persistently (other OCD symptoms usually last a max of 6 months, max). This has been eating at me for 2 years (I did have relief from it for maybe 2 months and then it hit me again). I’ve loved girls all my life, but I’ve never had a girlfriend or had sex- sex itself has become an obsession, which might explain why this one has been the worst. This week I’ve been afraid of maybe saying something that would make my friends think I’m gay.. And that would devastate me- I don’t want them to get the wrong idea. Feel free to email me or post. I was lost for a long time before I found out this was a type of OCD- your video has saved my life. Email is domken678@yahoo.com. Thanks for indirectly helping me 🙂

    • Chris,

      So sorry for the way late response. I am so happy to hear that my post helped me. I hope that you continue to find strength and push through your OCD. I find that my obsessions often change, “Wow, this is the worst obsession, I didn’t know how easy had it before” and each one feels like a new challenge. I just keep reminding myself that the obsessions may feel new and different, but it’s all just OCD.

      Take care, Chris and feel free to keep in touch!

  2. No problem on the response being late! I thought I’d come back here and check after I saw your video on Emma and Michael J Fox (I agree with you 100% on MJF. That scene pretty much summed it up for me too).

    As far as my OCD– the sexual obsessions have subsided a great deal, but I find myself spiking again out of the blue. I got the phone number of the girl i’m interested in, and now I’m full of dread. Thoughts like- “What if I’m not worthy?” “Is this who I really want because of my past obsessions?” “What if I’m not really interested in girls” “What if she somehow can sense what I’m thinking and thinks I’m not straight?” etc. I’d like to think the underlying cause is my lack of relationships in the past, and my general inexperience with women. I don’t know. I’d rather go back to walking in and out of a doorway.

    -Chris

    • @Chris I understand…sometimes when i would get a new obsession, i would wish i could go back to an old one. every new one feels like the worst one. GLad you liked the mjf video. Isnt just awesome!? 🙂

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