It has finally happened! I started my first week of medical school. Naturopathic medical school to be exact, so I can passionately help others struggling with mental illness who, like me, were not so keen on anti-depressants and only getting so much out of therapy. I’ve worked so hard to get here. Here, meaning into my own apartment in a new city, but I am full of anxiety. I recently left my Dad’s house where I was living. I had a therapist, friends at school and I was getting my intimacy issues dealt with. I fell in love for the first time with a man and then summer came, and it was time for me to leave and start over. I broke up with my boyfriend, left some of the first real friends I’ve ever made and I miss my family.
First day of class and I can barely keep the tears back. “How did I get accepted? I’m not ready for this! I can’t do this!!!!” I panicked. BUT, I did call a friend and ask for help, which I rarely ever do and it DID help.
I don’t know what will happen, because even as far as I’ve come I still feel like the “OCD girl” who cant do anything alone, but if therapy has taught me anything, it’s to commit to not quitting.
I have been hearing other students tell me they are stressed out too which is a reminder that even when we feel alone, we are not.
Transition states are never easy, ever, but they don’t last. We must remember that while change does suck, things become normal again. Let’s all keep being patient and try to move forward and be braver than we think we can be 🙂